Love Just Isn't For Me
by HollyJane
Summary: Bella's feelings for Jacob seem to fade over time, and just when she thinks that love really isn't for her, she finds someone who is persistent to make her believe otherwise. ExB, some are more OoC than others. Rated M for adult situations. AH.
1. Chapter 1: Something is Different

**Chapter 1 – Something is Different**

_Disclaimer: Nothing besides the story plot belongs to me and no copyright infringement is intended and all rights are reserved to Stephenie Meyer._

* * *

Something was different in the way he looked at her. It was there when he touched her too, the absence of emotion she felt coming from him. It's as if his motions were robotic—like they took no thinking at all.

She smiled at him and he smiled back. Again, it was robotic. His eyes held no depth today—his smile seemed feigned.

"Jacob," she said, barely capturing his distractible attention.

He glanced at her briefly before his attention was consumed once more by the contents of the refrigerator. He rummaged through the food, picking out a Pepsi and a meat sub.

"Jacob," she said again, more pronounced this time, grabbing his shoulder.

He stood up and looked down on her with an annoyed expression. "What?"

Her lips quivered before she could get the question out. "What's with you lately?"

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about," he said, turning around to set the beverage and food on the counter. He turned back to her, leaning back against the counter and crossing his arms. "Look at you." He said, his eyes examining her face closely. "You're all worked up. What's wrong?"

Her breath was shaky as she starred at him. "This isn't about me. You've been acting different lately. I want to know what's going on…" her sentence trailed off as the intensity of Jacob's stare became more hostile.

"What are you even talking about, Bella?" he retorted defensively.

Her resolve seemed to crumble. "Nothing, nothing," she stammered weakly.

Jacob's eyes softened. He sauntered over, placing a hand on Bella's cheek. He kissed her forehead and Bella looked down, not daring to meet his gaze. He lifted her chin, never minding her protests, forcing her to look. He gave her one small peck on the lips. "My Bella," he laughed. "Always blowing things out of proportion." He rolled his eyes before he removed himself from her touch, grabbing the food and beverage before disappearing into his den.

Bella starred after him, bewildered by what had just happened.

* * *

"Mom," Bella whispered into the phone. She was surprised with herself; usually she didn't resort to this kind of thing like calling her mother in a time of need. Regardless of the abnormality of it, her mother answered the phone, delighted as ever to hear Bella's voice.

"Bella, sweetheart!" she rejoiced. "Oh, it's so good to hear from you. How are you?"

"Good," Bella responded absentmindedly. She twirled the phone cord in her hand as she searched for the words inside her head.

"Hm, it doesn't sound like it… Is everything all right?"

"I guess," she said. "But I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Aw, that's nice. Well, what have you been up to lately?" Renee questioned, curious.

"School and stuff…"

"Are you sure everything is all right, Bella?" she asked again. "You sound upset. Tell me what's wrong."

Bella sighed, defeated. "Mom, things are great up here, don't get me wrong. But it's that my relationship with Jacob has changed and I can't get through to him anymore. It's like he pretends things haven't changed when it's as obvious as a sore thumb."

Renee was silent for a moment. "What has changed?" she asked softly.

Bella didn't respond right away. She needed time to think this one over, deciding what was different not only for herself and her feelings for Jacob, but what was different for and not to mention _about _Jacob. He was more distant and easily distracted; defensive and almost insulting towards her.

"His personality, Mom," Bella told Renee. "He's so easy to upset and he seems so much more distracted lately. It's like my feelings aren't important to him anymore. He won't listen to me though. He thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion when I _know _something is different."

Renee was biting her lip on the other side of the line. She was debating on how to respond, not exactly being an expert in this department. After all, she'd had her own hand full of troubling relationships and she still hadn't mastered the art of understanding the male mind.

"Maybe something's been on his mind lately." She suggested.

Bella pondered this. It was a possibility. "Maybe you're right. I should ask him. Not that he'd listen." She sighed into the phone.

Renee frowned. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. If it helps, you can always call me to talk about how your day's been going; I'd love to hear from you more often."

Bella sighed once more. "All right. I'll try calling you tomorrow. Thanks for all your help, Mom. I really appreciate it."

Renee nodded, though she couldn't see. "I'm always here for you, Bella, honey. If you ever need anything just call me. And of course, if you don't have access to a phone there's always Charlie. I love you, please remember that."

Bella cracked a smile, rolling her eyes at her worried mother. "I know that. I love you too, Mom."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later then." Renee said, smiling warmly.

"Kay. Bye, Mom."

"Bye, honey."

The silence of the dead end of the phone made Bella feel lonelier than she should have what with Charlie right down stairs, patiently waiting on her as she told him she'd be a few minutes on the phone.

Keeping her guilty expression under wraps, Bella made her way to the kitchen, pouring her father and herself a bowl of tomato soup. She dug around in the cabinets for some saltine crackers and retrieved some cheese from the fridge and placed two sodas on the table as well.

"Could you get some spoons from the drawer, Dad?" she asked as she set cups full of ice on the table next to the sodas.

Charlie nodded, lending Bella a hand by setting the spoons next to the dishes.

"You can sit; the food's ready." Bella said, taking a seat.

Charlie took a seat as well, opening the can of soda and pouring it into the cup of ice.

Dinner was silent as usual, but a comfortable silence. Charlie ate his soup in peace, only pausing once to ask how her day was. Bella smiled and lied about how she'd had a pretty good day at school and returned the question, only to hear a quick story about him and Billy catching a good amount of trout which she'd already seen stored in the fridge.

Finally, when they were both done with their dinner, Charlie seemed to find some motive to start a lazy conversation. "I heard from Billy today that Jake was planning on coming over."

Bella tried to hide the way her face fell. "Really?" she said, picking up hers and Charlie's bowls and throwing them in the dishwasher and doing the same with the silverware. "That's nice. I wanted to see him today," she lied quietly.

Charlie nodded. "Billy also mentioned Jake's been having a rough time at school. The kids won't give him a break about the obvious change's he's been going through. And he's been a lot moodier lately, if you haven't already picked up on it."

Bella kept her face down as she placed the cheese and saltine crackers back in their rightful places in the kitchen.

He went on. "But try and give the kid a break; he's doing his best."

"At what?" Bella asked, turning to face her father.

Charlie's eyes narrowed. "Now, Bella," he scolded lightly. "Jake will come around. Just give him some time."

"I have been giving him time," Bella defended. "I can't remember the last time Jake and I shared a good laugh." Her frown deepened at the thought. "I don't know what's changed about him but it's definitely here to stay; it's not the moodiness, it's his personality. It's changed. Maybe you or Billy haven't noticed, but I have."

"What do you mean?" Charlie asked, concerned.

"Jake's not the same person he was a couple months ago. He used to be carefree and outgoing; he always made me laugh. Now it's like he's darkened in a way. His smile, it's bitter. I can't explain it right. I don't think you'd get it anyway. It's not temporary, either. I can feel he's going to stay like this. I just know it…"

Charlie's look of sympathy wasn't helping the raw tears collecting on the corners of her eyes.

"Bells," he said softly. "Calm down, honey."

It was awkward the way he tried to comfort her, not offering a hug or a pat on the back. His words were strained, as if he didn't know the right thing to say. She could tell the threatening tears were making him uneasy and it bothered her how he couldn't soothe her the way her mother could.

She took a deep breath to balance her emotions. "Sorry," she said, her eyes flickering to the stairs. "I'm going to bed." She said before bounding up the steps in the rush of embarrassment.

"Bella," Charlie called up the steps. He stood there for a second, at a loss at what to do. "Bella," he called again, with no response. He sighed, slugging his way back to his chair, sinking down in it, exhausted.

Just then the doorbell rang and Charlie's head lifted before he sighed, knowing who it was. _Excellent timing, _he thought sarcastically. He got up from his seat to answer the door, letting Jacob in routinely.

"Jacob," he said, eyeing him skeptically. "She's upstairs."

Jacob looked up. Charlie starred at the boy for a moment. Bella seemed to be right; there was the absence of carefree joy in the young boy's eyes that always used to shine through even on his gloomiest days.

"Charlie," Jacob returned before making his way up the steps.

* * *

Bella didn't respond to Jacob's touch the way she normally would have. He slid his hand down her side, caressing her curves gently with his warm fingertips. He showered her in kisses, all to which she was as unresponsive as stone. He seemed to become more agitated in her lack of interest, grabbing her face and forcing her to participate. When she didn't, he let go, standing up from her bedside and glaring down at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you today?" he nearly shouted.

Bella starred at him, bored, kind of actually hoping Charlie heard that. She hoped Charlie would rush up here and demand to know what was going on, but he never did and never would. It was just Jacob. _Just Jacob…_

Bella's mouth twisted as Jacob glared, waiting for an explanation. "Nothing," she responded simply, finally.

His eye's narrowed. "Bull shit. What the fuck, Bella? You owe me an explanation."

This time, Bella's eyes narrowed. "I owe you nothing."

"Is that what you think?" Jacob laughed bitterly. He took a step forward, leaning down in Bella's face. Bella starred past him with disinterest. "You owe me much more than an explanation, actually. You owe me an apology for all the shit you've been doing lately. Acting out and all this crap. Throwing accusations in my face, I mean, what the hell? Look at me when I talk to you!"

Bella's eyes slid icily to stare at Jacob. "First off," Bella said bitingly as Jacob raised his hand to her, "don't wag your fucking finger in my face like I'm your daughter. Second off, I don't owe you a God damn thing; I think you've got your shit backwards. So why don't you just get out of here, I really didn't invite you over, you invited yourself. I didn't want to see you tonight anyway." She smiled, satisfied with herself as she saw the look of pure shock on his face.

He recoiled as if he had been slapped, a dumb-struck look still plastered on his face. "You really want me to go?" Jacob asked in a small voice, and Bella's eyes softened. She thought she saw a glimpse of the old Jacob but that thought was quickly diminished as he glared angrily and said, "Fine, if that's what you want. Don't expect to hear from me again unless you're the one doing the contacting. Fuck it." He said, turning on his heel to stride out of the room.

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Good, bad? Should I continue? **Review** (:


	2. Chapter 2: How 'Bout That Weather?

Chapter 2 – The Cullens

Bella woke up surprisingly rested and happy for once. She knew she should have felt guilty and maybe even a little worried about not talking to Jacob again, but she honestly couldn't really find it in her heart to care. Maybe some time away from him would do them both some good she thought, and when she was good and ready she could contact him again. Maybe they both just needed time. She thought that maybe they might have taken things too seriously too fast and that's what may have scared him. But she didn't find herself thinking about it too much as she got ready for school that morning.

As she came down the steps for breakfast that morning she should have known that Charlie would be there waiting for an explanation. He had his arms crossed and a concerned look, which was never a good thing.

She didn't decide to say anything until she grabbed a granola bar and poured herself a glass of milk. Finally, she turned to face him, granola bar half-eaten in her hand. He didn't need to say anything; the question was all over his face.

Bella sighed. She looked down to the floor. "Jake and I got in a fight."

"I heard," he responded, waiting for an explanation.

"Dad, I'm really going to be late if I don't get a move on," she said, avoiding his gaze as she dumped the remains of her milk in the sink and threw the granola wrapper in the trash. She grabbed her bag and jacket off of the coat hanger, slipping the jacket on and throwing her bag over her shoulder. She looked up to him then. "Can we talk after school?"

Charlie didn't look happy but nodded anyhow. "After school."

Bella let out a sigh of relief as she shut the door behind her, flipping through her keys to unlock her ancient Chevy. She looked up to the sky as she walked to her truck, wondering how she was going to explain things to Charlie once she got home. She can't just tell him she told him off for no reason, and she really couldn't tell him that she broke up with him either. She didn't even really know what happened herself. _Did_ they break up?

She was ashamed that something inside her hoped for that. She didn't want to keep living with the way Jacob had treated her lately; she knew she couldn't tolerate that, even when she was so selfless. But apart from being selfless, she had some self-respect, and Jacob wasn't showing her any respect at all. It was driving her nuts. It sickened her truthfully.

But she decided to block all of this out of her head as she drove to school, momentarily letting herself forget about it. She took deep, steady breaths to remind herself that this problem was temporary and even if it might be the worst thing that has happened to her in awhile, she didn't need to let it take control of her thoughts; she didn't need to revolve her life around such a silly, trivial thing. She was going to look back on this one day and think, _how stupid. _

However, she couldn't ignore the hurt feelings that started to slowly creep up on her.

Bella didn't say anything to Jessica or Angela as they approached her. She kept her mouth shut as Jessica rambled on about pointless gossip and Angela smiled at her knowingly, silently relating to her. Angela didn't care about Jessica's pointless gossiping anymore than Bella did but was too polite to do anything about it. Bella merely tuned it out.

"Who's that?" Jessica asked, looking towards the parking lot as they found themselves a table in the cafeteria to wait for the first period bell.

The majority of the students that had gathered around them including Mike Newton, Ben Cheney and Eric Yorkie turned to look to see what Jessica was talking about. Bella did as well, curious.

"New kids?" Mike suggested, looking at Bella specifically. Bella shrugged in return.

Jessica noticed the exchange, eyes narrowing toward an ignorant Bella. She was too absorbed in the book she had pulled out, _Pride and Prejudice, _to even notice. Jessica had already analyzed Mike was crushing and was determined to change that. She had already figured out that Bella didn't return the interest, and not only that, but she was completely out of Mike's league. Jessica couldn't help the quick glare she shot at Bella before her attention was otherwise absorbed once more.

"I didn't know anything about new kids," Jessica said, bewildered.

"What a surprise," Ben said sarcastically. Jessica smiled bitterly at him. Angela giggled.

"Pretty nice cars they've got there," Mike said, whistling lowly at the gigantic Jeep that pulled in, followed by a pretty little silver Volvo.

Jessica's sneer was obviously jealous. She tampered with her dark brown locks, acting more superior than she really was. Angela looked at the table when Ben rolled his eyes at the superficial Jessica.

"Look, they're getting out," Mike announced, capturing everyone's attention, including Bella's.

There was a moment of tense anticipation as the group waited for the doors to open.

Jessica's eyes were round as the driver of the pretty little Volvo stepped out. She was lucky that the drool that was pooling in her mouth didn't ooze from the corners of her lips. Her heart sped up, and her breathing was quick.

Mike glowered, accessing the boy. _Pretty boy, _his thoughts spat. _Rich and spoiled, obviously. _

Bella didn't react in anyway to the gorgeous people stepping out of their pathetically pricy vehicles. Mike seemed satisfied with that, and he shot annoyed looks at Jessica, who was openly ogling the four teenagers. To his dismay, a sliver of drool was now hanging on the one side of her mouth. He rolled his eyes.

Ben, losing his interest rather quickly, turned back to the group. "Hey, does anybody have plans for this weekend?"

They all shook their heads and the eagerness in Angela's eyes encouraged Ben to go on. "Maybe we could go see that new movie in Port Angeles on Saturday. You know, the horror one. I heard it's supposed to be the scariest movie in history or something like that."

"Oh!" Jessica exclaimed excitedly. "I know which one you're talking about!" she grinned. "_Paranormal Activity_," she clarified. Ben nodded. "It's like the next Blair Witch Project."

Bella's brow furrowed. She'd seen the Blair Witch Project, and thought it was just a bunch of pointless hocus pocus. It didn't scare her at all. She forced a smile anyhow.

"Oh, that sounds scary," Angela said worriedly, looking down at the table.

Ben grinned, placing his arm around Angela's shoulder. "Don't worry, babe. I'll protect you."

Angela couldn't help but giggle at him, scooting closer into his side.

"So, how 'bout it then? Want to go together Saturday?" Ben hoped they'd say yes; not just to hang with his friends, but he'd been meaning to have a chance at getting closer to Angela. He knew she hated scary movies. It was perfect.

"Yeah, sounds good," everyone agreed, and Bella nodded as well, her expression somber. She knew that Charlie would allow her to go, he'd always encouraged her to spend more time with her friends, but going out to watch some scary movie wasn't her idea of fun. She was more of the loner type, preferring to be cooped up in her bedroom with a good book, absorbed in the nineteenth century novels she loved, maybe even a cup of coffee to accompany the cozy scene in her head. She sighed, wishing that was what she was doing right now.

The bell rang then, forcing Bella from her thoughts. She gathered her textbook and supplies, heading off to first period Biology with Varner.

She sighed as she stepped out of the light drizzle and into the toasty classroom, her eyes scanning the desks to find a seat. She found one, thankfully in the back, and draped her jacket across the back of the seat, plopping down in it clumsily. She was one of the first ones in as usual and she waited in silence, flipping her textbook open to the page number Mr. Varner had up on the blackboard as she waited for the students to pile in and take their seats.

Quiet murmurs swept across the room at something once most of the students were in their seats, and Bella glanced upward, distracted from the text she was reading. It was then that she noticed up in the front of the room was one of the new students, a boy in particular. He was handing Varner a slip of paper and chatting with him about something. She wasn't ignorant, she found him exceptionally good-looking. He was tall, and from what she could tell of the tight v-neck t-shirt he wore, he was well sculpted in the chest area... She gulped. He had bronzish-auburn hair that was messily organized around his pale face and the angular features to support it. A sigh of admiration left her lips.

He turned then, looking about the room with Varner. Verner's eyes landed on the empty seat next to her, and her eyes widened with realization. He was going to be sitting next to her. Varner exchanged a word with him, pointing to the seat next to Bella. She sunk down lower in her seat, feeling her cheeks burn as her eyes avoided him while he walked to sit next to her.

He sat down, opening his text as Bella did. She narrowly avoided looking at him, starring out the window far too intently for it to be considered _normal_. If he wasn't mistaken, he'd thought she'd been looking for something as he glanced curiously at her out of the corner of his eye.

There was obvious tension between the two of them during the class period as Varner lectured. The students were off in their own worlds, doodling in their notebooks and starring out the windows and off into space. Some read books hidden within their textbooks and some drew on their hands. Bella, on the other, sat tensely, eyes trained out the window. She didn't know what the boy was doing, and she didn't care to look to find out.

Varner rambled about something to the class, showing a diagram on the overhead. "You can complete questions one through five with your lab partner at the back of the section," he said then, turning the overhead off. "I expect them to be neatly completed and on my desk before the bell. Other than that, there's no homework. Go ahead and start."

The class sighed with relief and the sound of scooting chairs and chatter quickly erupted from the classroom. Bella cringed as the chair next to her scooted so it faced her, and she unwillingly did the same, turning to face the boy.

He smiled at her briefly before looking away to turn to a fresh page in his notebook. He looked to her. "I'm Edward," he introduced himself, extending his hand towards her. She took it hesitantly, surprised with the rush of emotion that went through her as he gripped snugly with his cool, dry palm.

"Bella," she returned, withdrawing her hand almost too quickly.

They sat in silence as Edward jotted down answers to the five questions, having Bella find the paragraphs to basically copy the wordings from. Once done, he set it on Varner's desk, glancing at the clock. They had a good five minutes or so of class left, and he wanted to spend that time getting to know his lab partner.

"So, Bella," Edward said as he took his seat again. "What brings you to the wonderful Forks, Washington?"

Bella quirked a brow, confused. "Shouldn't I be asking _you _that?" She was surprised by the casual tone of her voice, as if talking to him didn't set fire to every nerve-ending in her body.

Edward smiled. "It's just my way of initiating conversation," he explained. "Ask them what they should be asking you. It's a nice way to break the ice, don't you think?"

Bella shook her head, a tiny smile forming at the corners of her lips. "I guess so…" she said, unsure. "And I wouldn't call Forks _wonderful_." She scrunched her nose cutely.

"Neither would I," Edward said, a disgusted sneer on his face as he glanced out the window which was dripping with perspiration.

Bella smiled. "You don't like the rain, either?"

"No," Edward said, seeming to think something over, the way he looked to the ceiling, not really seeing it. "I do like rain. But it just doesn't _stop_," he said. "Rain and thunderstorms are great, every now and then. But I've already had enough of my favorite type of weather and I've only been here for not _even_ two weeks."

Bella gaped openly at him, her eyes wide. "You _like _this kind of weather?"

"I _did_," Edward said. "Now it's just gotten old." He sighed. "Forks kind of spoiled it for me."

"Try having lived here for a year now," Bella said begrudgingly, frowning.

Edward starred at her a moment, looking like he was trying decipher some kind of hidden message in her eyes that wasn't there. His gaze began to make her squirm in her seat, looking down, feeling a common blush creep up her neck.

"You've lived here for a year?" he finally spoke. "That's it?"

"What do you mean, '_that's it'_?" She said. "That's a long time if you hate rain." She mumbled.

He grinned. "I'm sorry to hear that you hate the rain –"

"You will, too," Bella cut him off. "_Eventually_." Her tone was exasperated. Not with him, but to exaggerate the word, being just plain sick of the rain.

"Well," Edward said, optimistically, "what type of weather would you prefer?"

"Hot, sunny days," Bella blurted unthinkingly. "I miss Arizona." She looked out the window, only to return her gaze to Edward, not pleased with the view out the window.

"You lived in Arizona?" he asked, genuinely curious.

She nodded. "Yeah, in Phoenix. With my Mom."

"So this must have been a huge change for you." He empathized, eyes wide.

"Believe me – it was. Where are you from?"

"I'm from –"

The bell sounded then, and everyone scooted from their chairs noisily. They stood up together. He sighed, "I guess we'll have to continue this conversation tomorrow, Bella."

"Or maybe we'll have some other classes together," she sounded far more hopeful than she intended.

"I hope we do."

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Review, **please**.


	3. Chapter 3: Conversations

Bella sighed deeply as she shut the front door behind her, dropping her bag and sliding off her coat and placing it on the coat hanger close to the door. She dropped her keys onto the kitchen counter and turned to head towards the steps, exhausted, when Charlie called from the living room.

"Bells," he shouted.

She cringed; she was hoping futilely that Charlie would forget. She knew he was more than concerned though – and truthfully he had the right to know, if anyone did. She was so lucky as to know he wasn't about to pry or demand reasons – he just simply wanted to know what had happened.

Bella walked in, taking a seat on the couch, facing across from Charlie who sat rigidly in his recliner.

His brows rose, waiting.

"I couldn't take it anymore." She blurted. "Jake and his – _his moods_."

"What happened?"

"He yelled at me, and I told him that I wasn't the one who had anything to apologize for. And Dad, before you start in, I know that he's apparently going through a rough time, but he has no right to yell and point fingers at me like I'm his child."

Charlie held his breath until his face was red before he exhaled in a gust, rubbing his forehead, seeming to think things over. He hesitated before speaking. "I guess I can understand your anger."

She sighed with relief. "Thanks…"

Charlie didn't respond; just let his eyes settle back on the television. "I guess that's it," he said after a moment or two, eyes trained on _ESPN_. "Do you want me to talk to Billy? See if I can work things out with you and Jake?"

"No, don't feel like you need to get involved or anything. This is my problem; I'll handle it."

Charlie glanced at her. "All right," he sighed. "But promise me you'll work this out sooner rather than later." He narrowed his eyes. "I know you. Don't be stubborn. Jake surely means well."

"_Sure he does_," she mumbled under her breath. She nodded to her father. "I know he does. And I'll do the fixing when I'm ready."

Charlie thankfully settled for that answer without a fuss. "That's my girl."

She smiled half-heartedly. "I'm going to go start supper," she said, standing up.

Bella ate her supper, avoiding conversation with her father purposely by pretending to read her novel while she picked lazily at her chili. Once she was finished she resided in her bedroom, picking through her book bag to find her English homework. She plopped down on her quilted bed, flipping through the pages of the textbook and picking out paragraphs to skim briefly. She already knew most of the material but decided it wouldn't hurt to review some things for the test on Wednesday.

It wasn't until about quarter after eight that she started to get unusually tired for it being so early. She covered a yawn and placed her notebooks and textbooks on her nightstand and tucked herself in for the night.

That next morning she was in a rush, having slept in late. It was twenty after when she woke up. She showered quickly and let her chestnut hair go, not bothering to blow dry it. She grabbed a plaid flannel, throwing it over her shoulders and buttoning it up, throwing some jeans on just as quickly. She placed on her moccasins that sat by her door and grabbed her corduroy jacket and book bag, running out the door and down the steps. Grabbing her keys she didn't bother to make herself breakfast, yelling her goodbye to Charlie as she rushed herself out the door.

Once in the ancient Chevy, she realized she hadn't brushed her teeth as soon as she turned the key in the ignition. "Fuck," she spat under her breath, shoving a handful of Tic-Tac's in her mouth that she kept in her cup-holder.

She was in the building with seconds to spare, sighing with relief as she placed her bag inside her locker. She gathered her first period supplies, pacing quickly to the cafeteria, only for the bell to ring as she was steps away. She turned on her heel, eyes wide and exhausted already, to head for first period.

"Good morning," Edward happily greeted as she plopped down into her seat, exhausted.

She starred at him peculiarly. She looked around. "Why are you here so early?"

"I don't have many friends here, you know. I have no reason to stick around the cafeteria."

She looked down. "Oh, right."

He smiled. "I take it you were in a rush this morning?"

Her nose scrunched. "How did you know that?" she asked, bewildered.

"Well, your hair… and the flushed look on your face. Surely you weren't running for any apparent reason. You wouldn't have been late if you were to walk, you know. You're five minutes early for class, like me."

"Yeah, I know," she said. "But I like being here early."

"Why's that?" he leaned forward, hand under his chin, eyes brooding.

"I don't know. I just like it."

"Fair enough," he replied, opening his textbook to use as a distraction while the students started piling in. She did the same.

The hour passed quickly without Varner's constant lecturing and they were each assigned an individual project that was due at the end of the period, forcing them to use their time wisely.

Bella smiled as she walked to lunch, knowing that the first half of school was almost over. Just gym, study hall, then English and she was out of this place after that.

She took her place in line, grabbing one of the plastic lunch trays. Her eyes scanned the crowd, looking for her friends, when they landed on a table of five in the corner near the emergency exit doors. It was Edward and his family, all of them typically as beautiful as the next. She couldn't help but notice how they were all so different looking, yet they still had that same luminescent, impeccable milky-white skin.

She starred a moment longer than necessary, only realizing when someone behind her nudged her on the arm to get moving. She did, shaking her head as if she were coming from a trance.

"Sorry," she mumbled to the irritated students behind her. She ran her fingers through her hair distraughtly, ruffling it.

"Bella," Jessica's voice called, and she looked to see her friend nudging her way through the students. Jessica stopped in front of Bella, smiling politely, "I just came to tell you we saved you a seat." She glanced around at the angry students who had thought she was budging, crinkling her nose at them and turning back to Bella. "It's next to me and Angela."

"Okay," Bella said quietly, starring at her feet. "Thanks."

She grinned before turning to walk away, and Bella moved up in the line, placing a milk and an orange on her tray. The lunch lady handed her a salad, ushering her along quickly.

After she paid, she took her rightful place in the cafeteria next to her friends. She picked at her salad and orange, not eating it, and only taking a few sips of milk.

"You know," Angela said, studying her picked apart foods, "You don't have to buy lunch if you're not hungry."

"Or if you're just not going to eat," Jessica added in there, rudely, and looked Bella's thin frame up and down. "You might want to eat _something_. It wouldn't hurt." She unintentionally sneered.

Bella blushed. "I just take more than I can eat."

Angela smiled, swallowing that white lie. Jessica, however, only scoffed quietly. "You haven't eaten _anything_," Jessica spoke to herself.

"We still up for that movie this weekend?" Ben leaned over and asked.

"Yeah," Angela responded. "I'm in. How about you guys?" she turned to Bella.

Bella automatically refocused her attention on the table, shamefully. "I, um, actually forgot I made plans with my Dad this weekend."

"Oh. Really?" Jessica's eyes popped wide. "Your Dad is the Chief of Police here in Forks, _right_?"

"Right." Bella clarified. "He wants to go book shopping with me this weekend," she lightly fibbed, swallowing hard. "I feel bad that I forgot all about it."

"In Port Angeles?" Angela asked hopefully.

"Er, no," Bella stammered, turning crimson. "In... Seattle..."

"Oh," Angela's face fell and Bella bit her full bottom lip. "I was going to say maybe you could go with us after or something, or meet us up somewhere. That's too bad..."

"Yeah, it's really a shame." Jessica decided to throw in there distractedly, shoving a spoon full of apple sauce in her mouth.

"Yeah." Bella hung her head lowly.

After gym, she was grateful for the cool air conditioning of the library during her study hall. The school was too cheap to air condition the actual gymnasium, using only a giant fan and cracking open the back doors. It was still hotter than necessary in there, and the locker rooms smelt of mold and feet. It was always the worst part of her day.

She avoided the deliberate stares of the handsome boy sitting a few tables down from her, keeping her eyes on the newspaper article she was reading. The death rate of the city of Seattle, Washington rose by about 13%, and Bella scoffed it at lightly. How could they determine that, exactly? She thought nothing of it, tossing it to the side for someone else who actually gave two shits about it, and who would take the time to read the few unidentified reasons for these young teenagers' random deaths.

Finally, having had enough of her ignorance on his part, the handsome boy stood up, walking towards her table. He seated himself across from her at her table and she starred at him, questions racing across her expression with a speed that amused him. He enjoyed watching her face change emotions so rapidly; he was pleased he could actually have some kind of affect on her.

"Bella," he greeted with a nod of his head.

She opened her mouth, inhaling – but no words came out. She blinked. "Hello, Edward?" it sounded like a question and she shook her head, bringing her hand up to run through her hair, a subconscious habit when caught off guard or stressed.

"I saw you at lunch."

"I saw you too," she responded, finally clearing her head, a blush adorning her cheeks rapidly after her confusion was misplaced.

"What's that there in your sleeve?" Edward indicated the thin, white wire.

She bit her bottom lip, covering it quickly. "My earphones," she whispered, head hung.

He smirked. With sudden chagrin, she grimaced, hopping up from her seat, gathering her books.

Edward starred, vexed. "What are you doing?" he questioned, brows furrowing. He stood with her.

"Leaving," she said.

"Where exactly do you plan on going? You can't leave the library." He pointed out.

Remembering this, Bella frowned. She set her stuff back on the table, turning away. She walked towards the non-fiction section, taking an aisle and pretending to search through the books to avoid talking to him.

Edward, curious about her, slowly rounded his way to another aisle next to hers, watching her through the space between the books and the shelves. He pursed his lips, trying to understand why she wanted nothing to do with him. If he wasn't mistaken, he'd made her blush plenty of times. Or maybe everyone could do that to her? Maybe she was just a shy person who didn't want to be bothered. He didn't know, but he wanted to find out. He wasn't sure if she noticed, but his interest in her was definitely obvious.

Bella pulled out_ Moby Dick_ from the next aisle over and gasped as Edward peered through the space at her. She placed the book back in quickly, shocked. She walked swiftly from the aisle, planning to lose him in the vast majority of shelves and books in here. But he kept pace with her over in the next aisle, meeting her at the end.

"What are you doing?" she seethed as he grabbed her hand, her chestnut hair fanning about her.

Edward frowned, withdrawing his hand. "Why did you leave?"

Bella recoiled her hand as soon as his touch was vacant, glaring at him. "_Because_," she said.

"Are we in fifth grade? '_Because'_ doesn't cut it in my book."

"What exactly do you want from me, Edward?" she shot back in a low whisper, trying to keep her voice down as she looked around them.

"Well, you're the only person besides my family I've really talked to in this school. Can you blame a guy for wanting to be friends with someone like you?"

"Someone like me?" Bella scoffed. "You'd be lucky if you weren't my friend."

"Why would you say something like that?"

Bella shook her head. "Forget it," she said, turning away.

He ran around towards her front, stopping her as he held his hands out. "Wait," he pleaded. "Just a minute."

"_What_?" she nearly shouted, completely exasperated.

They both looked around them warily, hoping to go unheard. Once the coast was clear, they both turned to stare at each other again. Bella glaring, Edward's eyes narrowing from innocent to determined.

"I didn't mean to offend you earlier if I did."

Bella looked down, biting her lip, her hand instinctively coming up to have her fingers curl around a curl near the end of her silky hair. "You didn't offend me." She spoke softly.

Edward shook his head, completely befuddled with the constant change in her emotions near him. "Bella, you really are something else."

Her head cocked to the side slightly, but she chose to ignore the statement with a slight blush.

"Do you mind if we just pick up the conversation where it left off?"

Bella nodded, her eyes guarded. He smiled, taking a step closer to her. "I believe I asked you about that wire."

"Yeah," Bella said, pulling her sleeve down furthermore to cover the headphones. "So I was listening to music in study hall. Big deal." She shrugged, avoiding his face.

Without saying a word, Edward reached hesitantly towards her, pulling the opposite sleeve up to reveal the purple iPod Nano hidden within her sweatshirt. Bella, hyper-aware of his cool fingers lightly brushing the sensitive skin of the inside of her wrist, self-consciously hid her arm away, but not before he could see what was playing on the screen.

Edward smiled. "_Sick Puppies_?" he questioned. "You were listening to them?"

"Er, yeah," Bella replied awkwardly, avoiding his probing gaze.

"You like them I take it?"

She switched from foot to foot, shrugging her shoulders. "Um, yeah, they're good. I like a lot of their songs."

"What's your favorite?" he asked, his eyes joyful as they searched her face.

"You listen to them?" she looked up, curious.

"Of course," Edward said. "And much more."

"Like who?" she smiled, finally looking up to meet his eyes.

"Well, you've got to love _The Spill Canvas_."

"I do!" Bella exclaimed, bouncing to the balls of her feet and back down again, pleasantly surprised. She smiled, shaking her head back and forth. "I can't believe it. Someone who likes good music."

Edward pondered a moment, "Well, define _good music_, you know? Everybody likes their own thing."

Bella blushed, looking down. "Yeah."

"But," Edward said, his eyes never leaving her flushed face, "I would say that, _in my opinion_, rap is… far from… well, how should I word this so it doesn't sound –"

"Rap is pitiful." Bella said bluntly, finding the courage to meet his eyes squarely.

"Boring and repetitive." He agreed.

"_Pointless_."

They laughed together.

"Maybe not Eminem," Bella then said after a moment of thought.

"_Or_ Lil Wayne."

Bella smiled. "I guess stereotyping rap as pitiful is kind of wrong. Not all of it is."

He nodded.

"Do you want to join me today for lunch?" Edward asked after they had grown silent, biting on his bottom lip nervously.

"Oh," Bella said, biting her lip as well. She hunched over in shyly, trying hopelessly to conceal the tomato-red blush that painted her face again so suddenly. "I don't know… I mean, I eat with my friends and all…" she trailed, looking across the room to see Ben, completely wrapped up in a conversation with another person. He was laughing, and, seeing him this way with other people, she knew he would be just like that at lunch, as well as everyone else, and she'd be awkwardly singled out, again.

"If you don't want to, that's fine," he tried to hide the rejection he was feeling in his tone.

"I probably shouldn't. You could eat with me at my table if you want." She felt horribly guilty, seeing the overly disappointed expression on his face. She looked to the desk, trying to deny the gush of emotions spiraling through her.

"No…" he said warily, looking away from her for once. "I should stick with my family."

The bell rang suddenly, and, feeling the guilt ten-fold, she hurried to grab her things and run cowardly to English class.


	4. Chapter 4: New Friendships and Good News

"Just perfect," Bella spat as she slipped straight for a puddle – right outside the English building.

She successfully drenched her new Roxy shoes, the ones the sales lady said you weren't supposed to get wet. _Fat chance, _she thought about saying to the lady. Living in Forks and just being _Bella _– there was no way that these shoes would last more than a month. Why did she talk herself into buying them in the first place?

She muttered a good share of profanities under her breath as she entered the classroom, taking the first available seat seeing as she was one of the last ones to class due to her encounter with the puddle outside. Kids rushed passed her in a hurry to get inside and escape the sprinkling rain and to avoid being late to class, not bothering to lend a helpful hand.

Not that she minded, she'd only have denied the person who would have tried to lift her from her klutzy feet – and she hated that. She could do things on her own. She might have made an exception though if it were a certain bronzish-auburn haired boy…

She shook her head, sighing.

She really needed to get a hold of her right mind.

"_Hi_!"

Bella's previous irritation halted for a moment. She glanced to her right, seeking out the owner of the chipper voice.

"Hello…" she replied warily. Gorgeous green eyes swept across her face, delighted, and Bella seemed to squirm under her gaze. She knew exactly who this girl was, despite the fact she had no idea what her name was. This was Edward's sister, only the second most beautiful girl she'd ever laid eyes on, the first being the mysterious yet undeniably, inhumanly beautiful blonde that sat with them at lunch.

"My name is Alice," she said brightly, extending her pale hand towards her. Bella took it, still wary. Her grip was firm and cool as she shook Bella's hand, smiling all the while. "You must be Bella," she went on. She grinned, appraising the brunette not as discretely as Bella would have preferred. "He was definitely right."

"Who was right?" Bella inquired slowly, already knowing yet still fearing Alice's answer.

She only smiled. "I have this feeling we'll be great friends, Bella," she simply said.

There was something definitely off about Alice and her perkiness but Bella decided to never mind it, focusing instead on the teacher who was bantering away to the class.

"The script here, in plain black and white for all to see says that Romeo matured in a way when it came to falling in love with Juliet – he had the kind of school-boy affection and infatuation of another girl before the star-crossed lovers met…" the teacher, Miss Eck, argued heatedly with a stubborn Mike Newton.

Bella sighed, tuning their little debate out.

The bell rang after a dreadful eighty minutes and Bella already her things packed into a neat pile so she grab them and flee quickly. It was the end of the day and she was far more anxious than she should have been to go home, cook dinner, finish homework and go to bed. It occurred to her that she led a pretty boring life without someone that kept her around and kept her mildly happy. But she didn't want to be _mildly _happy, she wanted to be _exceptionally_ happy, with someone who she could make feel the same way.

Why did Edward immediately come to mind? False hopes, she presumed disappointedly.

She then wondered minutely if Jacob had maybe called, maybe left her a little message. Maybe even an apology if she was lucky. But Hell, who was she kidding? No one but herself. She sighed as she blew a strand of hair that was hanging in her face as she grabbed her things, standing up from her seat.

"Bella!" Alice's voice called and she turned to see her waving her arms, fumbling to catch up with her. She grinned when she stood by Bella, eyeing her bored expression skeptically. "Glad the period is over?" she smiled knowingly.

"Yeah," Bella laughed nervously as they continued their walk out of English.

_Why is she talking to me_? Bella couldn't help but to wonder.

Few words were exchanged between the two after that, just Alice murmuring about the homework assignment which Bella didn't really take the time to actually look over, just jotted it down quickly.

Alice bid her goodbye to the awkward brunette who had been walking with her head down the whole time and Bella nodded her head to her, acknowledging that she heard, even when she really didn't care to listen to what she had actually said.

Once Bella escaped the clutches of Alice, she placed her hoody up and bowed her head, planning to lay low for awhile. She didn't want to be Alice's friend and even though she felt guilty about it, she really couldn't find it in her heart to care. She didn't want to have to pretend to be happy all of the time when she clearly wasn't. She didn't want to have to get out of the house and do things with other people, she didn't want to socialize. She didn't want to meet new people and try new things. She simply wanted to isolate herself. She'd given herself away to Jacob and yet that didn't seem to be enough. If she tried to give away what was left to anyone else, that surely wouldn't be enough either. People would abandon her again.

She rushed to the parking lot, head bowed from the rain as she scrambled for her keys. She glanced up, finally registering what was going on around her for once. She didn't know why she cared; wasn't she pining to get home _all day_?

There, across the parking lot, happened to be the center of her thoughts all day. He was there in front of his pathetically pricy vehicle, flirting away with one of her friends, Jessica. There was no pang of jealousy like she'd expected, but rather than shrug her shoulders and move on like anyone else would have done who wasn't jealous, she starred. She starred at them, smiling and laughing. She watched as Jessica giggled, looking down, then back up. She was acting shy. Hopeful. Would he ask her on a date?

She didn't know how long she'd been standing there, but they were gone along with their cars by time she realized she'd been starring for too long. She sighed, climbing into her ancient Chevy.

Once inside the house, Bella threw her bag and jacket on the coat hanger, not bothering to pick out her homework from her bag. She started towards the stairs, but didn't make it before Charlie spoke up.

"Bells?"

"Yeah?" she called back, bored.

"No homework?" he asked.

"No," she lied.

"Huh." He said, studying her forlorn look. "Want me to order a pizza tonight?"

"Yeah, sure." She responded. "I think I'm going to go take a nap…"

He starred, skeptical. "All right."

She continued her pursuit towards the steps, taking her dear, sweet time trudging up them. She wasn't going to deny it, she was moping. Moping terribly. It wasn't like her, but she was past trying to act like normal. She felt miserable today, especially after this afternoon. She actually thought that someone like Edward in all his pathetically pricy car glory would be interested in someone like her. She groaned at her stupidity as she crashed onto her bed.

"Bells?" Charlie called warily, waking her up from her stupor. She wasn't quite asleep but very deeply in thought. So much so that she hadn't heard his approach. "Supper's ready… and your Mother's on the phone."

"Oh," she responded, wiping her eyes. "Kay, I'll be down in a sec."

"Okay," he replied, disappearing from behind the door.

She grabbed the receiver once she entered the kitchen, placing it to her ear immediately. "Hi, Mom."

"Hi, honey! I know we talked just the other day but I just wanted to hear your voice." Bella could hear the obvious giddiness to her tone. Something good happened to her mother, she could tell just from her tone.

She cracked a smile. "That's nice," she responded. "How've you been?"

"Oh, I couldn't be any better." She replied excitedly.

"All right – what happened?"

"I'm engaged!" she blurted, wasting no time getting to the point.

"Oh my gosh," Bella nearly gushed, forgetting her previous gloomy mood. "Really? Since when?"

"Since tonight. We went to this nice little restaurant and he proposed there. Oh, Bella, it was the most romantic thing ever."

"What does the ring look like?" Bella asked curiously, truly happy for her.

"It's a square diamond on a silver ring. It's just so beautiful and unique. I've never seen anything quite like it. It's perfect." She spoke fondly, tenderness coating her tone.

"I'm happy for you, Mom," she grinned. "When's the wedding?"

Renee laughed enchantingly. "Now, I haven't thought that far ahead yet. We're working on that part, though. Sometime this summer hopefully. I want to marry him as soon as possible. I'm so in love with him; you just wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Bella laughed lowly. "I believe you. Well, congratulations. I love you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart." She replied lovingly. "I can't wait to see you. Soon?"

"As soon as possible," she returned.

"Promise?"

"I promise you, Mom."

"All right, I'll be waiting for your call." She teased.

"Okay, okay. I gotta go eat supper. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"All right-y. I love you and I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Mom."

"Bye-bye."

She set the phone in its cradle, turning to Charlie with a satisfied grin on her face.

Charlie grunted, looking to his daughter expectantly. "Well?"

"Mom's engaged." She said hesitantly, measuring her father's reaction. She knew he wasn't quit over the fact they'd separated – he loved her mom so but apparently he didn't make Renee as happy as she wanted to be. She didn't feel the need to pity her father though; she loved him too much for that.

"Huh," he said, seeming surprised. "Well, I'm happy for her," he said distractedly though he sounded somewhat genuine about it, taking his seat. She sat across from him as well. "I hope you like pepperoni. I forgot to ask you."

"Yeah, that's cool," she said, taking her share of slices. It smelt absolutely delicious if she wanted to be completely honest. She kept her mouth shut though, speaking wise, as she bit into the warm slice. She reveled in its taste. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had pizza. It was nearly to die for good, better than she'd ever remembered. She was undeniably in a better mood since her mother's good news, as well. Her mood was definitely taking a turn for the better. She even felt the need to strike up a conversation with Charlie, but, feeling that it would only end awkwardly, she didn't say anything to spare the both of them.

* * *

**I'm really sorry it took forever to get this chapter up and it's a complete BORE, but the next chapter will get better. Give it a chance, yeah? :)**

_**And you should review. Tell me it's terrible. I don't care! Just review.**_


	5. Chapter 5: A Change of Attitude

**Chapter 5**

The rest of the week had to be the worst days of her life. If the fact that Edward Cullen had a 'thing' with Jessica Stanley – of all people, God forbid – wasn't enough punishment, she had to see her insistent clinging to the boy for every class they all had together and at lunch. Before and after school. When her friends would invite her to hang out she merely declined now because she didn't want to have to face those two. She wasn't sure if they were dating or not, but the way their arms were linked twenty-four seven made their little _fling_ pretty obvious.

Not only did she have to face those two, but there was the persistent Alice Brandon, following her around like a puppy and starring her down during the lunch hour. She'd never met anyone so dramatic about the little rejections; she constantly reined on her cheery parade. She would deny her a trip to the mall or to hang out after school. Even when she bribed her with the fact that she would willingly finish her homework for her; she turned her down.

And then there was the weird fact that Edward still threw her brief glances in the lunch line or in the library during study hall. He would flash her a timid smile or try to make conversation; all to which he failed.

Bella practically went out of her way to avoid these three people with her life.

But still, they kept throwing themselves at her. Like today, a Saturday, Jessica Stanley still decides to ruin her day with a phone call where she shared such _wonderful _– take interest in the sarcasm – news. She swore that she was only calling just to rub it in her pitiful face.

"Bella?" Jessica chirped, overly peppy as always.

Bella bit back a disgusted remark she wanted to make. "Yeah?"

"Oh, good, it's you! I like didn't think it was you at first. You sound sick… or something."

She rolled her eyes. "No… why are you calling?" she hoped that didn't sound too rude.

"Oh," Jessica giggled fitfully. "I was just wondering and all… you know how me and Edward have like, a thing?"

Bella swallowed awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. "Er…yeah." _Doesn't everyone_? She thought bitterly, considering the way she clung to him like he was a life preserver.

"Okay, well, I was…thinking, _right_?" she giggled again.

_She thinks? _

"I already called Angela and stuff but… I kind of wanted to get your opinion about this, too, y'know?"

Bella fumed, wishing she would get to the damn point already. "Yeah, okay. About what?" She tried to sound optimistic but…

"I was wondering what you think about me asking Eddie out."

_Eddie_? What a God awful nickname. She wondered if he actually liked it.

She thought for a moment. "He hasn't asked you out yet?" she couldn't deny the… _hope_ she was feeling. Hope that maybe there was still a chance if Jessica didn't ask him out right away. And… the _relief_. The relief that there was still the distance there that you have before you date someone. She wondered idly if they'd _kissed_ yet. She cringed at the very thought.

"Um, no," Jessica replied awkwardly.

"Oh. I thought he really liked you."

There was a moment of silence. "You think… maybe he doesn't? And like, that's why he hasn't asked me yet?" she panicked, her voice raising an octave.

Bella didn't say anything right away. She didn't mean to freak the poor girl out. She decided to play it safe though, hoping that maybe this would dissuade her decision of asking him. "Oh. I don't know, Jess."

"Well, what do you think if I did? You think he likes me? I mean, he doesn't ever say anything when I hold his hand and stuff. I just thought…"

Bella bit the inside of her lip, resisting the urge to cheer the poor girl by staying optimistic for her. It practically killed her to say it. "I know he likes you, Jess. If he didn't, he wouldn't be linked to you all the time like he is." She added a light laugh for her benefit. It made her own heart sink at the effort.

Jessica laughed. "Oh, I know! And that smile of his he gives me! It just makes me want to like melt all over the place."

She was definitely right about that. He had a winning smile. It made her feel foolish; like she was just another girl that was swooning for an attractive nothing in the long run. She sighed, realizing then that maybe she should just give up the fight and hand Edward to Jessica. It was just high school anyway…

"I'd say go for it. You obviously are in love with the guy, and he likes you too, so you should jump on this opportunity. I would, were it me."

Jessica sighed happily. "Thanks, Bella! I think I will. I just hope like I don't chicken out when the time comes." She laughed.

"Well, I'm wishing you good luck." Bella bit her bottom lip, so full of indecision…

"Thanks again," she replied.

Bella fell backwards into Charlie's chair as she turned off the phone. Did she just give up the fight? Did she really just encourage Jessica Stanley to go after Edward Cullen? Had she lost her _mind_?

She pouted again, her thoughts left to veer. She had nowhere to go this Saturday afternoon and there was absolutely nothing left to do except mope around. She hated that, but really, she didn't have enough gas to take a trip to Seattle of Port Angeles to do anything. Her homework was all done due to boredom on her Friday night. It was hard but she even admitted it to herself; she was a boring, pathetic being that had absolutely no friends. Well, maybe she did, but for some reason she wanted nothing to do with them. They weren't right for her. She barely ever had a real good time with them when she was out. And now without Jacob, the one person she always enjoyed being with…

She felt a trader tear roll down her cheek. Angrily, she swiped it from her face. There was no room to cry and be strong. She had to be strong for herself. This was all her doing anyway; she pushed her friends away, she bitched Jacob out, she denied Alice and Edward when they only wanted to be a part of her boring life. They'd given her a chance, and she didn't even give them one in return. She was horrible.

Maybe she was just meant to push people away. Maybe she was meant to be a loner; maybe she wasn't meant to be a people person. Aside from being bored practically twenty-four seven, she didn't really mind being alone. It's just… she wanted… Well, she didn't know what she wanted for sure. But she knew what she _didn't _want.

She didn't want to sit around and mope anymore. She wanted to do something like take charge of her life. It wasn't going to happen between her and Edward if she didn't do something; she wasn't going to find friends if she just sat on her lazy bum all day and whined about things that were her own fault in the first place.

_That was it_. She wasn't going to be the quiet little girl that people never noticed. She wasn't going to be the girl who pushed people away, yet longed for them to be a part of her life. She wasn't going to just go down by Jessica without a good fight.

So, she picked up the phone…and she dialed.

* * *

_Another semi-boring chapter, but this one was kind of necessary for Bella's attitude change to snag Edward from Jess's grip. It'll get better, trust me._

Please **review.** I gotta know how I'm doing to keep going...


	6. Chapter 6: Fishing With Alice

**Chapter 6**

"Hello?" the tinkling voice answered merrily.

"…Alice?" Bella spoke warily, hesitantly.

"Bella?" She asked excitedly. "Is that you? Oh, I just knew you'd call – "

"Yeah, yeah. So I called. Big deal." She replied, shrugging her shoulders. _Maybe this was a bad idea_…, she back-tracked.

"And?" Alice spoke, seemingly irked all of a sudden. "Did you call for something or not?"

Bella faltered at her tone. "I, um, well – yeah, kind of. I guess…"

She was cheery once more. "Oh, great. What'd you need?" She hummed on the other end of the line.

"I wanted to take you up on that offer to go to the mall or something – _i_-if you still want to."

"Really?" she replied, dumb-founded, for once sounding something other than beautiful and peppy. She sounded normal, and it made Bella feel a lot more comfortable. "Yeah, I'd love that, actually. Tonight or when?"

"Whenever… It doesn't have to be tonight or anything."

"But it's a Saturday, Bella! We can go today and you come back to my place later tonight and we can chill." She suggested politely.

Truthfully, she didn't like the idea of spending all of her afternoon with the peppy pixie that belonged side by side with Jessica. The only difference was that she was for more beautiful than Jessica ever would be, no matter how hard she tried, and Alice didn't even need to try.

_That_, and her grammar didn't involve 'like' every other sentence.

"Yeah, that sounds – _wait_, your house?"

"Yes… something _wrong_ with that, Bella?"

She swallowed. Alice was obviously Edward's sister, so the automatic assumption was that they lived under the same roof as each other. She couldn't be around Edward without having a mood swing every five seconds. She didn't know what it was about him that did that to her, but one minute she wanted to kiss the ground at his feet and the next she wanted him to just get lost. She obviously couldn't make up her mind about him. Because there she was, practically desperate for him only minutes ago and then on the phone she was practically handing him to Jessica on a stick labeled _forfeit_.

"I don't know…" she responded quietly.

"You don't have to spend the night or anything like that…" Alice said.

"I know. Aw, hell." She sighed. "What time do you want to pick me up? I hate to say this, but… my car isn't going to do it. I'll pay for gas if you need some."

Alice laughed, "Nonsense! We'll take my car and you're free of charge. That's just how wonderful I am." She spoke lightly.

Bella smiled. "Are you sure? Because I've got cash."

"Totally sure. Pick you up at around two? And wear something nice. It's never _just _shopping. We're going fishing today, too."

"_Fishing_? Um, Alice, I don't know how to fish. And why would I wear something nice to go fishing? And the weather is freezing today! No way. I'm putting my foot down on that one." She protested stubbornly, tapping her foot. Did she really just say they were going to go fishing, today of all days, and to wear something _nice_ for that?

"Don't be such a Debbie Downer," Alice sniped lightly. "We're not going to be fishing in a lake, and it's not going to be for fish. Silly Bella." She tusked at her naivety.

"Then what…"

"Just wear something nice and look pretty. Remember, two o'clock; be ready!" Alice hollered, just before the line went blank.

"Wonderful…" Bella mumbled, glancing at her wrist watch. It was almost one o'clock, which meant she had about an hour to get ready.

She showered quickly, deciding to let her mahogany hair air dry so it hung in loose waves down to the midsection of her lower backside. She went light on the makeup, only dabbing some clear lip-gloss on and went with a pair of light, faded skinny jeans that had the intentional rips on them in various places and a white tank top with a navy blue, quarter sleeved over shirt.

She frowned as she looked in the mirror, thinking that she looked like she was about to go to a baseball game, not to the mall with a friend. She wondered then if this is why Edward seemed to pick Jessica; was it because she was more girly and knew how to put on makeup without looking like a complete tool? Sighing though, she threw her hair back in a low pony-tail then and placed on her Converse shoes as she glanced at the clock which read 1:50. She had some time to spare so she grabbed her white and blue striped shoulder bag, throwing in her wallet, a tampon or two and the book she was currently reading; _The Tenth Circle _by Jodi Picoult. She loved it so far. She was such a gifted writer.

Bella clicked her tongue as she sat at the kitchen table, glancing outside to the driveway to watch for Alice's arrival. Her thoughts strayed as she sat there; mostly worrying if this whole thing was going to be incredibly awkward or not. She wasn't too sure about Alice, anyway. She was perky and beautiful – the complete and polar opposite of herself and she didn't fail to realize it. She inhaled and exhaled in a rush, biting her lip nervously. She prayed this would be fun. She was definitely going out of her way – and her comfort zone at that – for this positive change of attitude, but it was more of an act of whim and she didn't really take the time to think the decision through. What if she was miserable for the whole time?

A honk emitted from the driveway and she jumped, grabbing her bag and placing her hoody on quickly. She ran out to the car – an incredibly beautiful and ridiculously pricy looking yellow Porsche – and hopped in quickly.

Alice was grinning widely as she assessed Bella. "You look pretty!" she complimented right away.

Bella looked to her too, taking in her choppy black hair and her flawless, pale complexion and petite frame, dressed in dark skinny jeans and a purple sequined blouse. She had gold peep-toe pumps on and she gulped noisily, wondering how she managed to sport those things and still seem so graceful.

"You look good, too, Alice," she replied.

"Thanks," she said, still smiling sweetly as she backed out. "I like your Converse, by the way. I was thinking of getting me some like those. Maybe a different color though. I love the low-cut ones. High-tops kind of freak me out," she looked to Bella, laughing softly, "they remind me of emo children that try too hard. They gave Converse a bad name."

Bella laughed at that. "Nice. I guess I like low-cuts better, too. I think they're easier to get on."

"They seem like they would be."

"Mhmm," Bella responded softly, glancing around the car. "You all have really nice cars. Your family, I mean."

Alice nodded. "I know, Dad insisted. I got this for my sixteenth birthday; can you believe it?"

"Wow, you're really lucky." Bella gaped.

Alice turned to Bella, nodding again. "I see you eyeing my stereo." She giggled.

Bella blushed. "It's really nice."

"Want to listen to some music?" she suggested, her fingers already fiddling with the buttons.

"Sure," she consented, watching intently as Alice worked with it.

An odd tune came on then and Bella's eyes widened. She looked to Alice warily as the high-pitched singer held an insanely ear-shattering note. Alice was tapping her fingers against the steering wheel and mouthing the words along with the singer. Suddenly, Alice's voice was louder than the CD as the voice dimmed to a softer tune.

"Shule… shule…shule Agra! Time can only heal my woe. Since the lad of my heart did go… Johnny's gone… Johnny's gone… Johnny's gone for a soldier…." she sang in a high-pitched, melancholy voice along with the CD.

Bella's eyes widened as she sank ruefully in her seat. _What_ had she gotten herself into?

She turned to grin at Bella. "The song is called Shule Agra." She giggled at Bella's petrified face. "And no, we don't have to listen to it. I just sang it for a concert choir one year and it grew on me. Trust me; I was just as scared of it as you are now." She reached over to the dashboard, her delicate, pale fingers turning it to a radio station generously.

Bella's shoulders relaxed at Alice's real tone instead of her peppy one. She was beginning to believe that she might actually have a good time with her.

After what felt like only minutes of listening to music and idly chatting with Alice, which she was surprised to find she liked their conversations, they pulled up to the mall.

As they both got out of the car, Bella suddenly remembered what Alice had talked about on the phone. "Hey, Alice," she called.

"Yep?" she replied, rifling through her purse for her magenta-colored lipstick and applied it, rubbing her lips together and popping them.

"What did you mean when you said we were going fishing?"

Alice laughed her tinkling, chiming laugh. "You didn't catch on?" she asked incredulously, grabbing Bella's hand and tugging her along as her eyes scanned the crowd of people close to the malls entrance.

"Umm, no," she answered as she was dragged along and inside.

They both looked around, watching the amount of people. The place was booming.

Alice grabbed Bella's shoulders, turning her to face down one of the corridors. She pointed off into the distance with a perfectly manicured hand. "You see down there where all those people are?"

"Uhh, yep."

"It's a video game convention."

Bella frowned. "I didn't know you were into gaming."

Alice walked around, glaring at Bella's naivety. "I'm not. But plenty of boys are. And that's what I meant by _fishing._" She grabbed her hand and continued to pull her along. "Now let's go see what we can catch."

* * *

Alice huffed dramatically, throwing the arm rows of bags onto the cement. They had been shopping around the city for hours and this was apparently the last straw for Alice's patience. She crossed her arms and glared at Bella. "You're way too picky for your own good, Bella. At this rate, you'll never get a boyfriend. It's either he's too tall or too short, or his hair is oily or his face isn't clear. Well, Bella, nobody's _perfect_."

Bella sighed, glancing around to make sure Alice's little tantrum went unnoticed. Thankfully, nobody was looking their way. She bent to pick the bags that Alice had so angrily tossed to the ground.

In truth, there was nothing wrong with being too tall or too short. It wasn't that they weren't good looking or that any of the guys she talked to didn't have promise. The only boy that had really caught her eye, and not to mention her unaltered attention though was the one that she would probably never have – yet fawned over anyway. She wasn't in the mood to fish for boys when the boy she had in mind was completely out of her league. Her mind wasn't interested in the conversation these boys had to offer; it was focused on how do I find conversation with _him_? How do I make myself better for him? How do I live up to what he is and find a place by his side?

It was obvious to Bella that Edward was out of this world and that put her way down on the list. No other boy could make her knees weak or her emotions reach their peak with just a simple conversation about the weather. No other boy could seem more interested in the places that she used to live or how she felt about rainy days. No other boy was… _Edward_.

"I know, Alice," she said as she stood again. She looked to her friend, realizing that she actually enjoyed this whole time they were together and the conversations they had and the laughs that they shared. Alice would most definitely be her very best friend in a few short weeks. She was right about it. "They're all nice. It's not just the oily hair or the zitty face." She smiled. "It's that… I don't know. I don't feel anything for any of these guys. Had you not pointed them out, I wouldn't have looked twice. Every guy I talk to can't hold a conversation for their life. They don't interest me."

"Are you lesbian?" Alice blurted unthinkingly.

Bella gaped for a second. "No!" she shouted. "That's… ugh. Thanks; just thanks, Alice." She snapped, glaring at her friend and turning on her heel to walk briskly away.

Lesbian? A _lesbian_?! Was she thinking this the whole time?

"What!" Alice yelled after her. "Wait!" She scurried to catch up with her, bags bouncing and ruffling as she jogged beside Bella's fast pace. "Hey, can you blame me for thinking that? I mean, you don't even look twice at a hot guy and you always complain about – "

Bella ground her teeth together as she jutted her jaw out angrily. "I'm not a lesbian, Alice. But thanks. Your assumption surely flatters me."

Alice grinned deviously. "And why is that?" she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I'm _not _a lesbian!"

Alice sighed, rolling her eyes. "I know, I know. I'm just joking. Sheesh, lighten up a little."

She glared. "Well it's hard to lighten up when you're accusing me of being a lesbian."

"Jesus," Alice snapped, suddenly exasperated. "You're so touchy."

Bella sighed, nearly smiling at the fact that they argued like they'd been friends for forever when they'd only spent a few hours time together so far. She looked at Alice, an apology in her eyes.

"Sorry for getting grouchy with you."

"It's okay," Alice half-smiled to her as they entered a café to sit down and grab a bite to eat. "I hope you know I was only kidding." She looked a little sheepish.

Bella laughed. "I know. I was just overreacting," she said as she took a sit in a dimly lit booth.

Alice sat across from her, suddenly cheerful again. "Let's get the mushroom ravioli! I hear it's to die for good."

Bella's brows furrowed. "From who? Haven't you guys only been here for a few weeks? Who could have possibly told you –"

"My mother knows some people." She said simply, glancing up and down the menu.

Bella shook her head. "Okay, do you want to split it with me? I can buy, since you drove."

Alice frowned. "What is it with you? I have no problem paying for my own meal, silly." She tusked at her new friend. "I'll let you buy your own if that'll make you happy, though."

Bella sighed. "You're sure? I'm offering you dinner. Most would jump on this opportunity."

"Honey, when your father is a doctor and your mother is an interior designer and you've got loads of money to spend, you enjoy indulging yourself with your parents money who just happen to insist giving me a credit card." Bella gave Alice a disbelieving look. "I know. I'm spoiled. But hey, I can't help it."

They laughed together.

"You _are _spoiled. I've never met anyone so spoiled in my life."

"_Me_? Hey, I'm only buying clothes and accessories most of the time. The real spoiled one is my brother."

"Edward?" Bella inquired excitedly.

"Yep," Alice rolled her eyes. "My parents pay for his music lessons, his piano _and _keyboard, his guitar, his CD's, the vinyl's he collects – well, no, he buys his vinyl's with his own money. But everything else, it's all my parents."

Bella's eyes were wide. "Are you joking –"

"No, but he's an amazing musician." She defended lightly. "My parents love to invest their money in his ability, since he's so gifted. My mother believes he'll go very far."

"That's nice that she's so supportive." Bella commented softly, marveling inwardly that he was a musician. That was so… neat.

"Yeah," Alice said begrudgingly. "If only Edward were a bit more grateful." She nearly spat.

"What do you mean?"

Alice sighed, rolling her eyes a little. She waved her hand in the air. "Oh, I don't know. Edward doesn't seem too happy about his ability. He's an amazing player but for some reason he just doesn't put his heart into it. It's like – well, take this for example. Say somebody was amazing at football, but they hated the sport. You know?"

"Oh… he hates playing?" she seemed dumbfounded at the idea. "Why would he hate playing if he's got so much? Like all those CD's and vinyl's like you said. Why would he invest his own money in his vinyls?"

"Well, he's a huge fan of music. But I think he's not exactly the fondest of his playing because my parents, especially my mother, push him too hard and have too high of expectations in him. It kind of ruins it for him."

"Oh, I get it," Bella sighed sadly. "Well, that's hardly fair."

"No," Alice agreed, "it's not. But… that's my parents for you." She placed her head in her hand.

"Did he tell you all of this?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah, my bro and I are pretty close."

Bella frowned slightly, wondering why there was a pang of jealousy in her chest. Could it be that she wished that she had that close of a relationship with him?

* * *

If you want to check out the song "Shule Agra", here's the YouTube link to it. It's a random concert choir performance that sang the exact song that we're doing for it in choir right now. I completely dreaded it at first (lol) but then I ended up really liking it so… check it out here: _.com/watch?v=IcceS-TDj7Q&feature=related_

And, I made this chapter a little bit longer thanks to_ BellasMommy_ because she said that she loves long chapters and her comment that she loves my story and that it rocks just made my day, truthfully. So thank you for that; I really appreciate it. :) And I know it's not too long, but I felt like with the whole chapter being with just Alice that if I drew it out too long it would get kind of boring, and I know that you all just want Edward... cause that's how I am when I read a fanfic, so... lol.

Oh, and hang in there. The next chapter will have a lot more Edward, I promise. I know that he's not been in the past few chapters and you might be like well…what the hell? But be patient. He'll make his appearance, and you'll love it. ;)

_Also, also, also_. Don't forget to **review**. :)


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